Monday, February 28, 2005

Oscars and such

do you ever get one of those involuntary eye spasms where your eye lid feels like it is pulsing and there is nothing you can do about it? just had one. they are a little annoying. just thought i'd share.


fav moments from the Oscars last night:

-Oprah giving Chris Rock that "look" when he started in on The Passion of The Christ, like boy you better shut up quickly while you're ahead-even Howard Stern wouldn't go there!

-the guy that won for Music (song), "Al Otro Lado Del Río"-"The Motorocycle Diaries", actually SINGING his "acceptance speech." in spanish, no less. truly original, unforgettable. loved it!

-Beyonce! showing some versatility and singing something besides R&B! and in French, even! and another one with our fav Phantom man, Mr. Lloyd Webber himself on piano. spread those wings, girl. you go!

-Cate Blanchett, my movie star double, not taking credit, but giving it up for the team for her award. isn't she just fabulous, period?

-even the big stars like Prince, Samuel L. Jackson and Al Pacino messing up while they read the cue screens! =)

-Renee Zellweger, looking elegant as always, even with black hair that i didn't like. she can pull off any look fabulously! how does she do it?

-Counting Crows, i give you props for having the cahones to be yourselves even at the Oscars. but dudes, it's the Oscars!!! dress up a little, will ya? who knows? you might even clean up pretty nice!

-Morgan Freeman, finally being recognized for his brilliance! he should've won when he was nominated for Shawshank, but was robbed that year (anyone remember by whom???...) yay for Morgan!!!!

-Hillary Swank's muscles popping all over the place...did you see the back of her dress? no dress, just muscles! some company should use that as their slogan!

-and yay for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind winning for Original screenplay! if you haven't seen this movie, go out and rent it tonight! it will steep in your soul and resonate, let me shut up before i prejudice you. just see it!

-Jamie Foxx winning Best Actor for Ray!!!!! Yay!!!!! He soooooo deserved it! i loved that his daughter told hi right before they announced he won, "Even if you don't win, daddy, you're sitll good." And the grandma speech again, "Boy, stand up straight and ACT like you've got some sense!" you gotta love a man that has such deep respect and love for his grandma, and cries unashamedly, too (man, i got choked up, too, didn't you?) and then he says his grandma still talks to him in his dreams. "We got a lot to talk about tonight, Grandma!" was i the only one to totally lose it then? kleenex, please!

overall, i really think it was one of the best Oscars i've watched. even though it seemed at first like The Aviator (is anybody else as sick of Leonardo DiCaprio as i am?) was gonna sweep the night, it seemed to me that the awards were pretty evenly distributed and those that should've won, did. yay for all the wonderful films from this past year, some of which i still haven't seen :p by and far my favorite moment of the night was the speech the guy that won for The Incredibles gave saying, "The very definition of animate is 'to bring life to'...That is our job as animators, to bring life (to the characters), and you can't do that if you don't have one." he was quoting someone else. i just thought that is so true. how can we expect to bring life (i.e. the love of Christ) to others if we aren't experiencing it on a daily basis ourselves. our loving Father, the great animator who gave us life, goes about His life carrying on His plans no matter what we do. He's bringing life all over the place and all we have to do it grab on and let Him infuse us so He can use us to infuse others.

i was thinking last night as i reached into the freezer for some ice and some item fell out, that life is really not as much like a box of chocolates (sorry Forrest) as it is like a freezer - you have to choose what you have room for, what you take out and what you put in. what's your priority, in this particular season, this day, this minute? you might have to take something out in order to put soemthing else in. what are you taking out of your life? what are you putting in it?

i ask these questions of myself, too, and still hear Switchfoot in my head singing/asking, "This is your life. Are you who you want to be?"

Friday, February 25, 2005

I'd Rather be Basket Weaving

i saw that on a car tag the other day. "I'd Rather be Basket Weaving" LOL!!! craziness.

now, of all the things i'd rather be doing, weaving some sticks together while getting splinters under my fingernails is not my idea of fun (have you ever had that happen? yowch!!!)

if i had to pick what i'd rather be doing, i think it would be (in no particular order):

1-reading a book
2-listening to music
3-playing guitar
4-playing cards
6-taking pictures
7-driving while listening to music
9-hanging out with friends
10-watching Alias or a movie



speaking of craziness, i had a bit of my own today. i woke up this morning and the right side of my jaw was swollen (big-time!) from my ear down to the top of my neck! i was like what the heck??? it started last night, a little swelling at the corner of my jaw, wasn't much of anything, didn't hurt. i thought maybe it was aggravated TMJ stuff or maybe i cracked my neck one too many times and did something muscular. i took 2 aleve and put an ice pack on it and went to bed. this morning, big time swelling!!! i mean like mongoloid looking swelling! i turn my head L and then R, no problems. roll it around all the way, no problems. push and poke around on the muscles in my neck and shoulders, no problems. no pain, full range of motion. i gently push a little around the area that is swollen, a little tenderness here and there, but not really painful. just feels like pressure, feels heavy, not achy. this is really weird! now i'm self conscious enough as it is, without one side of my face looking like i have a tumor or something. not helping! now i did weigh myself this morning and discovered i have lost 5 more pounds, so that did help cheer me up a bit (whoo hoo!)

so i go to the doc, and it's just as much a mystery to her as it is me. i am feeling absolutely fine otherwise, haven't been sick since christmas, and no sinus crap going on right now. now there is a wisdom tooth half in on that side, so we are considering that as a possibility. but, there's no swelling inside my mouth or pain around the tooth at all! it's madness i tell ya! (Phoebe - "Stop the maaaaddnesssssssss!!!") could be an infected lymph node, but not sure. so they draw some blood to run some tests, put me on steroids (make you gain weight! not excited about that!) and antibiotics, tell me to keep on with the aleve and ice pack and life as usual for now and they will call me on monday with test results.

so while i wait for test results and try to find a dentist to check this wisdom tooth out (just to be safe), i have to go around looking like an alien is about to burst out of my jaw or somebody beat the crap out of me (which we know isn't true, but if confronted with that remark i will reply "yeah, and you should see the OTHER guy!!!"). i really have no desire to be out in public right now. work should be interesting tomorrow :p and if i don't look any better by sunday morning, i'm definitely skipping sunday school and just going to worship (like that's new, i know, was actually thinking about going to SS this week...) yeesh, maybe i'll just catch up on the sessions of the Louie Giglio CD series i missed in small group and sing and play guitar. maybe it'll all be better by tomorrow. that would be nice. then i wouldn't have to show up at Chili's tomorrow night for Ginger's going away party trying to hide the fat face with my hair or a scarf or how about a mask? yeah! that's it! Amanda, we should make it a costume party, a Masque, even! dude! that would so make me feel better. i know Emmy Sue understands. :p yeesh. peace out til Monday...

how many letters is that after my name now?

The University of Blogging

Presents to

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Comment Spam

Majoring in
Psychotic Ranting


Blogging Degree

coincidence ("hey, that's jo-incidence with a c")

okay, now i'm pretty good about keeping up with my checking account so i don't overdraft it. after all, who can afford $30 dollars a pop to go down the toilet??? truth is, i REALLY messed up my account in a big way years ago, and i've been a fiend about keeping up with it ever since. i loved it when they finally got online checking and it keeps your register and balance up to the minute!!! good stuff.

so i go in and check it the other day, after letting it go unchecked for a few days. (i'm so good about keeping my balance current in my checkbook, i usually just check it online once or twice a week) i'm scrolling, and i'm scrolling (MOVIE TRIVIA: "...and we're walking, we're walking, we're walking..." what movie is that from?) and all of a sudden i see OVERDRAFT CHARGES $90.00. what the @#$%??? i immediately pull out my checkbook and double check every transaction. ah-HA! there's a deposit that was posted to my account 4 days after i actually deposited it. bonus! bank error! (i love being right, especially to call someone else out on being wrong...i know, working on that) so i call up my friendly neighborhood banker and give her the scoop. well, she checks it. says deposit was made at like 3:15pm or something, which means that it was posted on the next business day, which was tuesday, because of the holiday monday. and i'm like "WAIIIIIIT A MINUTE!!!" because i've been banking with these guys for years, even used to work for them, and i KNOW that the policy is as long as your deposit is made before 8pm, it will be posted on that day. she asks me, "did you make the deposit inside the bank or at the ATM?" i say, "at the drive through" she say, "ok, that's the same as inside. if you make the deposit with a teller, it only posts same day if it is before 2pm. at the ATM, it will post same day up to 8pm." CRIKIES!!!

so basically i beg for mercy and can they help me out since i didn't know that and can they refund any of it please, pretty please, i would be ever so grateful for any help? (yes, i did say it like that) so being the friendly neighborhood banker she is, she talks to the man, and gets him to refund $30. now i'm not ungrateful, though i was hoping for more, and i thank her and go on about my day. what else could i do? (mind you i REALLY hated being wrong about the whole thing)

so i'm getting ready for work, and a thought hits me. if i would've tithed last sunday, it would have been $60. 90 minus 30 is 60. would God do that?

see, i hadn't been tithing for a while because things have been tight money wise, due to slow season at the spa. (plus, i took a little hiatus from church for a bit, and out of sight-out of mind, you know?) since the Holidays, business is boomin at the spa and finances are much better. i've been back at church as well, so i've been thinking it was really time to start tithing again. i was really thinking that this past week on more than one occassion, and even Sunday. did i do it? nope. i figured i'd start the next sunday. it'd be alright.

so now i've just been pondering would God really take my money like that? now i know it's not my money in the first place, it's His, but i just don't know that i believe Him to be vengeful like that. i do think that maybe He did it in this particular instance to teach me a lesson and get my attention (even more). and it does make me more conscious of my spending (hellooooo eBay!!!) when i tithe (thanks Heather for that nugget, i agree). so maybe that's it. a one time lesson where the big G says, "let me show you how much I can do with that small amount. you didn't really need it anyway. trust Me."



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How to make a jillymae

3 parts intelligence

3 parts crazyiness

5 parts instinct
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of caring


Personality cocktail

Friday, February 11, 2005


1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts;
In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum

13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. Every calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

the right path

off and on, for a few years, i've had nudges about writing a book. i never really acknowledged them seriously, maybe just in passing with friends by saying something like, "i should write a book about that." i even had a title strike me one night and thought, "hey, that would make a great title" and then just grinned, savored the thought and stored it in the idea cabinet.

but i've had more nudges recently, especially in the past week. on my way to work one day, the words Everybody has a story to tell came into my mind and i knew that was going to be the first line in the book. it was so clear, i could visually see the words on a page.

so when we broke up into smaller groups within our small group to pray wednesday night, i asked the other girls to pray over this "nudging" with me because i'm a little nervous and excited all at the same time about it. i'm a little nervous because i think this is supposed to be the kind of book where i choose to be completely transparent and real, sharing experiences and struggles and the things God has taught me through it all. i know it's not supposed to be about the story i want to tell, but about the story God wants to tell. Tabitha prayed over me, asking our loving Father to give me confirmation and i so echoed that prayer. within the first 2 minutes of the Louie Giglio teaching we were listening to, he says something to the effect of, "it's not about my story, it's about God's story." yeah, i about fell off the couch right then. i had just said that less than five minutes prior. i even listened to the CD again after bible study to make sure i heard it right. no mistake, there it was. and part of what Louie was teaching that night was about simplifying our decision making. how we totally think too much and over-analyze everything (guilty as charged here) instead of listening to God, following our heart's desire because God's the one who gives the very desires to us in the first place. when we're the right person, and it's the right decision, and it's the right time, it will just be almost effortless. you won't have to force anything to happen. we've been put on a path, and it's about walking hand-in-hand with our Daddy because He will make the path straight.

almost a year ago i wrote this in my journal: "Lord, teach me what it means for me to call you Father. Hold my hand and walk with me. Shine Your truth in my face, stare me down, look me in the eye so I see no one but You." i believe that is exactly what He has been doing since then, maybe even my whole life. i feel so blessed to finally begin to really "get it," to truly feel free in Him. to be the best me He has designed me to be. i think maybe that's what i'm supposed to share in this and love, peace and wholeness.

Everybody has a story to tell...

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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

uncommon sense!

have you ever felt like it just must've been your day for idiots to cross your path? let me tell ya, i had one of those days yesterday!!! it totally made me rethink the phrase "common sense." we really ought to call it uncommon sense because, apparently, it's not so common!

first episode of the day, last client of my day at work...i enter the room and my client is there standing, wearing a robe, and says, "question, do i keep the robe on or just get on the table under the sheet?" well, i'll give her a little credit for at least asking and not going ahead and getting on the table with the robe on under the sheet. (oh yeah, for those of you that don't know, i'm a massage therapist, that info may be important for this story) that has happened before! yeah, here's your sign...

next, on the way home, i had to make a stop at walmart in cool springs. so i'm turning left onto mallory lane from cool springs blvd, which has dual turning lanes now. got the green arrows and proceed to turn when i notice that one of the cars from the opposing dual turn lanes is, yes you guessed it, NOT turning left but driving straight ahead for her which is disaster for me because, oh yes, she is headed straight for me!!! now, wouldn't you think the HUGE white arrows pointing left in the asphalt would be enough to let you know you are in the turn lane??? and even if you missed that, that the arrows pointing left indicating a LEFT turn only may proceed through the intersection would register somehow in your brain that you can NOT go straight in this lane??? YEESH! now i know i am probably eligible for the 6th punch on the "attend traffic school 5 times and get the 6th one free" card for leadfoot disease, but come on! "hello? mcfly? is anybody home?" so i yelled some pleasantries and politely held my thumb on my horn for quite some time as we both skidded to a stop. i decided it was a good idea to wait til she moved on through the intersection before i proceeded with my left turn. by all means! go ahead! it seems you were going to anyway! granted, in retrospect, i should've let her hit me. "white lightning" (my 95 Saturn) needs some body work and she probably would've broad-sided me which could have led to me getting a few things fixed. that would have been nice!

so i actually did make it home (finally!) and go to the mailbox to get my mail, hoping a couple of my recently won eBay items (oh yes, Ari, it is addicting!!!) might be there. well, i put my key in the keyhole for my box and attempt to turn it, it won't budge! my first thought is maybe it's frozen, but it's not below freezing outside and we haven't even had any precipitation. that can't be it! what the heck? i also notice that the door to my box has absolutely no give to it like it normally does, i check the other boxes, yes they have give, so then i'm thinking there's something jammed in my box. it couldn't be that full, could it? the mailman would just leave me one of the pink slips to come to the PO to pick up the package. being the investigator i am (and really wanting those packages!), i walk around to the back of the mailboxes just to check it out, to see if the back is pushed out. OH MY WORD!!!! (see above picture) the back of the box is pushed out so far you can see into other people's boxes!!! you can stick your fingers in there!!! (not that i did...) somebody could steal your mail or rain could get through and ruin it!!! yes, i finally identified with our fav new hero, mr nappy d, and joined him in a robust and deep resounding "IDIOT!!!!!" so i knew at this point it was jammed full, which is why i couldn't open it, and i got my pliers out of the emergency kit in my car, because this obviously an emergency! there were packages in there that needed rescuing! i used the pliers to turn my key in the lock (carefully, so as not to break my key!) , and sure enough, packages, jammed, just as i suspected.

so i pulled out the first two, then the next one, one more, regular mail, and oh yes, finally the last package! 5 PACKAGES!!! PLUS 4 pieces of regular mail, 3 MAGAZINES, 2 newsletters and a (come on gang, sing it...) partridge in a pear tree, too!!! (not really a partridge and a tree, but if the bird would a fit, i bet this OBVIOUS TETRIS dork woulda made it fit!) AND TWO OF MY PACKAGES WERE RIPPED!!!! oh ho ho! it's on like donkey kong now, brother! "FREAKIN IDIOT!!!" i mean, i knew it had to be a sub, because our regular mailman would never do that. regular guy will bring the package to your door and leave a pink slip in your box if you're not home. yes, door service, we love him! this sub, i swear, if my packages had been damaged (they weren't, couple of cracked CD cases, nothing major, still the principle of it all!!!) i would've had to momma smack him upside the head! you know THIS was the guy in high school that you never wanted to stand by, or underneath, while he was opening his locker because if one thing falls out, they all fall out! THIS was the guy that crammed EVERYTHING inside his locker, making it fit, and holding stuff in place while quickly removing his while simultaneously slamming it shut!

it really was un-freakin-believable. why it did not occur to him that he might damage something from stuffing it in there, i don't know. maybe he just didn't care. that would upset me more because i can forgive idiocy a lot quicker than apathy. you know what they say..."ignorance can be educated. stupid is forever!"