Thursday, January 29, 2009

being and doing

I think that there is a place, or maybe time, where being and doing finally come together. At least i hope there my mind it is this magical, yet peaceful moment where the music swells and lights emanate from every fiber of my being quite like most cheesy movie climaxes.

In my heart I know it is probably more apt to be moment of complete brokenness. A moment where I really let go of myself and my desires for me, my rights to hold onto past mistakes and the pain that goes along with them. While I do think that sometimes you have to revisit the past in order to realize the future that lies in front of you, I think holding onto it only creates a hold on you, in you, by it.

I think that moment where being and doing meet will also be a moment of great courage. A moment where I do some stepping...putting my weight down fully, believing, on His promises and stepping into the destiny He has prepared for me.

I long for this moment to come. I see others around me, some still seeking theirs, some stepping into theirs, both inspire me. Maybe it's not just one big "Ah Ha!" moment, but a daily thing, the whole "out of my bondage, sorrow and night" idea... the old hymn rings thru my head:

Jesus, I come; Jesus, I come.

I think my first bit of stepping has to be into some brokenness right now. I have been trying to do things far too much on my own for quite some time. I've forgotten what it is to rely on the Father, to trust Him, to really believe that I really can trust Him.

Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Jesus, I come to thee.