Thursday, November 05, 2009

biting my tongue

Lately, I find that, more often than not (especially at work), I tend to voice my opinion about things quite in the moment.  I'm pretty blunt most of the time, which my new boss actually doesn't mind so that's pretty cool.  He did ask me a while back that when I run across things I disagree with or maybe think need "tweaking," if I'd just bite my tongue in the moment and wait til we can "pow wow" about it later.  While waiting to chat it up is not my favorite (I'm a see a problem want to fix it now kinda person...), I am thankful he's cool to "pow wow" about stuff at all.

In trying to do what I was asked, I think I actually took it to the extreme and held my tongue too much...I've felt quite stressed lately at work, which is ridiculous because I'm a massage therapist.  I rub on people all day long listening to relaxing music of my choice in a dimly lit room.  I realized Tuesday after almost losing it (read: demanded a mini pow wow immediately) due to some unnecessary construction noise in the office (we recently moved, still lots of "transition") that there was obviously more going on internally with me than that.

After some simmering and listening, I realized that there were some other things that happened recently that really bugged me that I hadn't taken the time to pow wow with the boss about.  I think maybe I "bit my tongue" in the moment so many times lately that I almost bit it off, never even writing stuff down and getting it off my mind so I'm not dwelling on it so much.  I keep putting off the pow wow cause I feel like I don't have time and we'll have to talk too long and yadda yadda yadda over and over....

I'm so glad I don't have to bite my tongue with Jesus.  I can call out to Him and spill it in the very moment it happens, whatever it is.  I'm glad He wants me to talk to Him, whenever and wherever I am.  I'm glad it's a conversation, where I talk for a while, and Jesus talks for a while.  It's cool to have that friend that you can call up and say, "Hey, I'm driving and about to fall asleep.  Can you talk and keep me awake?"  It's cool to have a friend that I can call up and say, "Hey, I'm exhausted and weary.  I need some help making it through this day.  Can you talk me through it, help keep me goin?"  I'm glad He's available to "pow wow" at any given moment.

Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know. 
Jeremiah 33:3


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