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I'm so excited I can't even think about sleep yet tonight.

I have missed teaching every single day I haven't been with my students. I miss them horribly. I miss their sweet smiles, even the trying natures of those few special ones, and their eagerness to learn. The most rewarding moments have been when I get the pleasure of seeing the perverbial lightbulb go on over a student's head...their eyes get really wide, they sit up straighter, jaw dropping open and usually say something like, "You mean, "when you do such and such thus and so results"? (insert your own mind-blowing revelation here) Yeah, ladies and gentlemen. That's the stuff. Those are the moments that make my day. To see an up and coming massage therapist have their own personal "ah-ha!" moment is a genuine gift, because the gift of passion for touch just keeps on giving.

Have you ever thought about what a touch deprived society we have become? Ever pondered how much less anger and anxiety we as a nation might have if we just hugged each other more? What if we sent people to Hug Therapy instead of "Anger Management"? I say hugging it out would accomplish far more than duking it out ever has (and you know what a fan of karate I am!). I'm just thinking so many people have been damaged by unhealthy touch that we have forgotten what it is like to receive healthy touch. My mom says that they are even told to not hug kids anymore at school (she teaches 1st grade), but she hugs the kids anyway. Especially the ones who obviously don't get enough hugs at home. Isn't that ridiculous? We've become so afraid of touch, so scared of being touched in the wrong way, we can't even hug little kids in school? Forget about buying the world a coke to create harmony (shout out to the 70's ad campaign), give somebody you don't even know a hug today. Remember the people going around wearing "Free Hugs" signs a few years ago? So many people just walked on by...why are we so resistant and afraid to connect with other people anymore? I bet they'd take you up on a Free Chair Massage....hmmmm, that's a thought for a new campaign...

I digress...I miss teaching massage soooo very much. I worked my first day at the new spa yesterday. It was clear to me very quickly that I really don't want to stay there long at all. The compensation is much worse than I was originally told and lots of other little things are just not adding up about this place. I prayed and cried last night, really believing the Lord has something better for me. I just don't believe he calls his children to any form of mediocrity, and I believe staying at this spa would be worse than mediocrity. It would be giving up hope. I even heard two therapists say yesterday that they had given up hope on a particular thing at the spa. That really gave me pause and increased my sense of urgency to continue looking for another massage job...

Got up this morning, a bit sore from 4 massages yesterday (I am definitely out of massage shape, gotta build back up the shoulders) and immediately got online to check the classifieds and craigslist for any new massage therapist job listings. 3 new ones, applied for one via email on the spot, gotta fax one and drop resume off for the other. After running a few errands, I received a phone call from the massage school where I interviewed about 2 weeks ago. The program director called to ask me to come back for a second interview and practice teach next week! YESSSSSS!!! I am elated!!! I was planning on calling them today to follow up on the first interview since he had told me the next step would be to set up a practice teach/second interview and I hadn't heard anything back from him yet. He called me! Just freakin awesome...what a blessing and an encouragement today! Most certainly an answered prayer!

Now, I am praying for discernment...to stay for now at the spa where I started yesterday, or go ahead and step back out on faith. I really haven't felt like I was supposed to be there from the beginning. I have been trying to be positive and excited to just have a job, but honestly, I accepted the job because I felt like I shouldn't be turning down a job while not having one. I really wasn't excited about it other than not being jobless anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for something in the face of nothing. I just wonder if God is saying, "trust me a little more..." I wonder how many times we sell out for the instant cash instead of waiting for the great riches of our inheritance that only our generous Father can provide. Sound familiar? Yep, Luke 15:11-32

Father, you know my heart. I love the gifts and passions you have given me and just ask for the opportunity to use them again to teach your children how to love and heal others through touch. Give me your wisdom and discernment in the decisions of the coming days. I ask again for clarity. I need the billboard, the writing on the wall...attune my heart and my eyes to see, my ears and spirit to hear from you.

Bless PJ as he goes to take his exam in the morning. Father, you know his heart and mind as well...please give him a restful night's sleep, help him recall all he has studied and learned, and give him peace and clarity as he reasons through the tough questions. He has the gift, Father, help him earn the piece of paper he needs to share that gift with others, Lord.