Battle!

i think my mom is about to have a meltdown and there are still 6 weeks to go before my sister's wedding. i was talking with mom on the phone today, and found our roles switched. nothing but fear and panic in her voice, almost a yielding, and me calmly but firmly reminding her that God is not a god of stress, or anxiety, or panic; that He says He will supply ALL our needs, not just financial, but also spiritual, physical, time, energy, emotional; ALL our needs. how strange it is to me when i become the advisor and mom becomes the advisee.

when i got off the phone with her, a scripture came into my mind: ...and we wrestle not against flesh and bone, but principalities... reminds me of John Eldredge - there is more going on here than meets the eye. we are in a world at war. i see John Travolta from the movie Michael sensing the tension in the air and his whole body prepares for the impending clash as he cries: Battle!

You better believe it!

then another scripture: For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Father, please take the spirit of anxiety and panic off my mom. give her peace. protect her. send your angels to wage the war going on around her and my sister.

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i watched The Matrix again tonight. there was absolutely nothing on tv and it just felt like the right movie. there are so many correlations to spiritual warfare, becoming free in Christ, others believing in you even when you don't believe, and so much more in this movie. i think my favorite line (tonight) was from Morpheus: Don't think you are, know you are.

do i really know i'm a child of the King? do i know He calls me daughter, even heir? do i really really get that? can i even begin to embrace my calling? the new name He has given me - Beloved, Anointed One. can i even begin to get my head around that? what does that really mean?

Don't think you are, know you are. it's not about trying to understand it. just knowing it. believing it is the truth. the truth opens your eyes. it frees your mind, as Morpheus says. just knowing. believing.

What's going on?

He's starting to believe!

sweet Jesus, help me live a life worthy of the calling, as it says in ephesians. help me know who i am in You and believe. really really believe.