to tell the truth and nothing but the truth

so i had a conversation last night after Kairos with a PLACE class buddy about the book i'm writing. she boldly asked me, "is there any way you can write this book without hurting your parents?" (Mike had been teaching about honoring our parents last night, and what it means to do that) while i totally didn't want to hear that question, i did need to hear it. i had to ask myself that question. and i totally wrestled with it.

my first answer was, "no, probably not. but i'm not gonna worry about it because it's not about them." i wanted to argue that this book is about being real, being true to the story, and i can't compromise the authenticity of the story just to spare someone's feelings. i have to tell the truth. i must be honest, especially with myself. i gotta keep it real. i was seriously wrestling with it, and myself.

after being thoroughly agitated with this question, i finally took it to the Father. i got real and honest with God, because deep down i do want to honor my parents-to acknowledge that they have value, and i also want to tell the story He wants me to tell.

and i felt God asking me what's this book really about?

me: "telling my story. telling the truth."

speak the truth in love

hmmmm. speak the truth in love. and there was my answer. so simple, yet so deep. because my love is never enough. i have to go to the source to really love people, especially my parents. God is love. i must ask to see them through His eyes, through the filter of His love. since God is love, i can speak the truth in God, the naked truth of what i might really want to say, and let Him transform it because He is love. then i can really "speak the truth in love."

that was a huge thing for me to hear last night. the challenge my friend issued, and then what God wanted to say to me through all that. because i really don't want anything in this book to hurt my parents. while they might not agree with everything i say or do, or may be offended by something i say, there's a difference between that and me directly hurting them. i can see that now. while i am not responsible for their feelings, i am responsible for responding to them in nothing but love and "taking the evil out of the world by taking the hurt into myself, and then take it to God and let Him transform it" like Mike said last night.

thank you, my friend, for challenging me to dig deeper, to really hear how God wants me to write this book. i was thinking i should tell the vignettes of my life from my perspective then (unedited) as it happened, and then share the perspective and understanding i have been granted now. i see now that there may be times where i have to let the "perspective then" become filtered through God's eyes so i don't share things that might be hurtful to others. so i can truly "speak the truth in love."