3 things you never talk about

girls, what is it about a guy paying attention to us and complimenting us that completely turns us from focused, intelligent highly functioning beings into distracted, scattered "oh what am i going to write today?" indecisive things of no spine mush? i swear, it is soooooo annoying! of course on the outside we're all about "what-everrrr" pretending we could care less, yet on the inside we're all giggly giddy skipping like a kid in the middle of the mall for no apparent reason lala-lala-laaaa heeheeheeheeheeeeeee.

ughhhh! stupid hormones. that's what about to turn 32 and never had sex will do to you. really messes with your head. we should remember what we learned in kindergarten: boys are stupid. i'm just a kid pretending to be 31? yeah, probably in many ways. i hope i always want to play with playdough and blow bubbles and fly kites and take hikes through the woods without a map.

speaking of no maps, do you think George W. had a map for being the President after terrorists attack the very icons of security we have come to depend on as a nation? yeah, i don't think so. being President has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world and i certainly wouldn't want to do it, to be under that kind of scrutiny and pressure to make the best decisions for not only our nation but how we aid and minister to other nations. i'm thankful we have a man leading this country who is seeking God's face. i'm thankful he asks us to pray for him. he's not trying to go it alone.

it challenges me to not go it alone. it completely humbles me that a new friend noticed, and shared that, my heart for worship shines through in conversation. it challenges me to live my whole life as worship. to let every thing i do, every word or deed, become worship. i know there's a song "...these hands were made to serve you, these arms were made to lift you up, i give my life to you in worship..." and this even challenges me further. just recently i've discovered new joy and how amazingly lighter my work load seems when i choose to let massage be worship. appreciating each person for who they are, how God sees them. not being afraid to use Christian music in my sessions. not being afraid to share my love for God in conversation. praying over people and letting God guide my hands.

yet i am challenged further to submit my everyday musings, ramblings, gossipings to God's authority. that whole speaking the truth in love thing again. and i've been reminded of Proverbs 18:21 that there is such power in our words. we can speak life or death. we can breathe life or death over people. what an humbling responsibility. my mouth gets me in sooooo much trouble. sometimes i really do speak without thinking. i yell obsenities at the driver that cuts me off. i interrupt someone's story with an observation or note of resonance when they really just needed someone to hear them, to listen to them. one thing i really took away from the BNC Workshop i went to was that so many times in life we aren't allowed to finish. we get distracted. we get interrupted. we aren't allowed to finish.

worship is translated in so many ways in the Bible. i actually tried to find a single definition for the word "worship" and there is not one single definition. there are quite a few words that mean worship. there are different kinds of worship. to praise, to bless, to adore, to sacrifice, to make an offering. all of these are different words, different types of worship. i want to worship by the way i acknowledge the guy behind me in the post office. the kind word i could speak instead of avoiding my boss when he is depressed. paying my bills ahead of time instead of (buying stuff i don't need on eBay and) waiting til they are actually due. doing a couple of things with excellence instead of a whole bunch of things just to fill up extra time.

you know, i actually started this post just because the same new friend that did the above mentioned noticing, said that his momma taught him there are 3 things you never talk about: sex, religion, politics. so i was gonna talk about 'em just because of the "never." because i'm in this pursuit of truth and daring to talk about what i was taught never to talk about. you know, the first rule of a dysfuntional family is that you don't talk. about anything. so i'm talking a lot. writing a lot. and it's funny, no matter what motive i start with, God seems to tweak it. change it. transform it. how can i not give what i say back to Him? how can i not worship with my words? He makes them so much better than i ever could. who really wants to speak death? to breathe death into someone else's life? He transforms my words so i can breathe life. so i can speak life.

thank you for challenging me, brother.