Wednesday, March 09, 2005

look up



i never knew i could be so exhausted from being quiet and doing a bunch of nothing.

that's what i found myself saying after last weekend. i went to my first continuing education workshop (yes, i do believe that means i've officially grown up) all day saturday and sunday. and no, that did not mean i got to sleep in. i had to get up at -crack:30 to be on time because it was out in the middle of nowhere. Harmony Landing, on the other side of Bellevue (in Pegram), tucked away from the rest of the world, complete with the sounds of trains rumbling by, leaves crunching under your feet while you hike to the creek, squeaky rocking chairs on the front porch with the token dogs hanging around for any suckers who really believe they are deprived enough to merit a crumb. and yes, it was quiet enough to savor each of those.

now this isn't your ordinary *yawn* continuing ed workshop, remember, i'm a massage therapist. so indeed this was a touchy, feely, huggy, lots of breathing hippy kind of a weekend ranch workshop thing. i got a postcard in the mail a few weeks back about the workshop. i wouldn't have given it a second look because it was for Breema, which i didn't think i would be interested in, but the caption at the top of the card stopped me long enough to read it before chunking it into the trash:

"To be who you are, you don't need much, but you have to let go of a lot."

'wow, that is so where i am right now', i was thinking. so i read on. much to my surprise, it is nearby and very reasonably priced. so i read up a bit more about this Breema stuff and simmer on it a bit before making the decision to go.

the day before the workshop, i'm tying up loose ends and running errands so i can be free from distractions for the little retreat, as i'm seeing it could be for me. two days in the woods with people who don't care what i look like (we were actually told to dress super comfortably in pants and shirts that move easily, with socks, no shoes, because we'd be doing all the work on padded mats on the floor, and to bring pillows to sit on - i'm thinkin, could it get any more fun?). packed my lunch, snacks and plenty of water. oh yeah, was soooo ready, and excited, so i stayed up late painting a lamp shade (which still hasn't turned out the way i want it). now i would've been okay sleep wise, but God decided to wake me up an hour before i had to be up to have quiet time. yes indeed, i rolled over, got up to go to the bathroom, got back in the bed, and i distinctly felt God nudging me to "get up and have quiet time with me" and i argued by rolling over and snuggling down more, and then another nudge to "get up and have quiet time with me, NOW." yeah, got it. got up.

as tired as i thought i would be in the workshop, didn't happen. not tired a bit. so score for big G for getting me all prayed up and focused for the day and sustaining me through it. i was just soaking it all in throughout the day. even had another (yes, that's 2, 2 quiet times in one day!) quiet time/praise&worship time on a small rock bluff overlooking the river during my lunch time. some concepts they were teaching at the workshop, i was digging. some, i just chunked or had my own take on them. (you kind of have to do that with some things in the massage world, some of it can be really waaay "out there" and you have to exercise some discernment - which may by why God got me up so early, i realized later) just to give you a taste, here's The Nine Principles of Harmony of Breema:

-Body Comfortable
When we look at the body, not as something separate, but as an aspect of a unified whole, there is no place for discomfort.

-No Extra
To express our true nature, nothing extra is needed.

-Firmness and Gentleness
Real firmness is always gentle. Real gentleness is always firm. When we are present, we naturally manifest firmness and gentleness.

-Full Participation
The most natural way of moving and living is with full participation. Full participation is possible when body, mind, and feelings are united.

-Mutual Support
The more our Being participates, the more we are able to support life and recognize that Existence supports us. Giving and receiving support take place simultaneously.

-No Judgment
The atmosphere of nonjudgment gives us a taste of acceptance of ourselves as we are in the moment. When we come to the present, we are free from judgment.

-Single Moment/Single Activity
Each moment is new, fresh, totally alive. Each moment, when it’s an expression of our true nature, is complete by itself.

-No Hurry/No Pause
In the natural rhythm of life energy, there is no hurry and no pause.

-No Force
When we let go of assumptions of separation, we let go of force.

some of these make sense by themselves, but some, i am sure glad i have God as a reference point. they talk a lot about "being present," being "in the moment," Existence, life energy, unified whole, concepts which can be a little vague if you don't have a reference point. God is Existence, life energy is my Spirit, unified whole to me is the divine spark of God in all of us that not only draws us to Him but draws us to each other as His children, brothers and sisters.

the simplicity of the movements we did really surprised me. it was a lot of weight-counterweight/stretching-compression, not really using force. not intending to push or pull anything, just using body weight, gently leaning on each other, supporting and letting go at the same time, not forcing anything to happen, being here-not there-here, not judging. very cool stuff. it makes sense, flows, and the body just releases tension as you are supporting/letting go at the same time. hmmmmm....

here's what i took away from the weekend: 1) if we're not comfortable where we are, maybe God's trying to move us to somewhere/something new; 2) we're the ones who create baggage, not God. the Beatles said it best "all you need is Love" God is Love, No Extra, nuff said; 3) firmness and gentleness can't exist without each other, like our bodies - bones and flesh - one is needed to support the other at all times, and yet they are free to change roles if one is broken. i think this goes along with mutual support/letting go, think of when clasp hands with a kid and swing them around in a circle - you both are holding on and letting go at the same time in different ways with different parts of your body, if either one of you stops holding on or lets go before the other, you both will fall - we all need each other, sometimes we're the giver, sometimes we're the receiver- when we let go, God catches us, God teaches us and lets us go (if you will) to support His work on earth; 4) full participation, whole-hearted, mind, soul, strength, yeah, don't do anything half-(you bet your sweet a$$)-way; 5) no judgment, not judging myself - i've been forgiven past present and future, not judging others - that's God's job, i'm not letting em off the hook, i'm putting em on God's hook; 6) be focused, single moment/activity, be my best where i am whatever i happen to be doing in that moment, (i can't give a great massage if all i'm thinking about is my dentist appt and bills and car in the shop yadda yadda yadda) don't worry about later, distractions are how Satan keeps us from being our best in Christ; 7) no hurry/no pause, God always seems to be telling me to pray and wait, yet He never stops accomplishing things, He never hurries to do anything while never ceasing to be doing something; 8) you can't force the body to do what it's not ready to do, same with people, can't force someone to do what they are not ready to do, God always gives us a choice, and how many years does He spend patiently preparing us to do what He is calling us to do? amazing, He prepares us, yet still allows us to choose. He believes in us.

one other concept they talked about in illustrating how we weren't to push or pull or use force, is "the body has weight." and using that, there is a lean, hold, release. the body has weight. how much extra "weight" am i carrying around because i keep picking up the stuff God has offered to carry for me? if someone else is leaning on me and feeling too "heavy" for me, maybe i should hold onto Jesus and release them to Him, let Him hold onto them while we both lean.

okay, so to "lighten" things up a bit, take a look around the blog, we've brightened up the place a bit, plugged a few things, dusted off the corners and made it a bit more homey. =) ya'll come back now, ya hea-!

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