tips from the hygiene fairy

so i just got through taking another shower. i can't help it. i took one last night after work before getting a massage, but nothing says "it's time to wake up" for me like taking a warm shower. i'm in there less than ten seconds and my body says, "hey, warm water. it must be time to wake up now!". i know you guys get tired of me talking about getting a free massage, but this story actually has a point and people have been complaining i haven't posted in a while, so get over it.

yes, that's right. i took a shower after work before getting a massage. granted, now most of us massage therapists don't worry about it, we trade massage when we can and sometimes it is unplanned in the middle of the work day. but last night my last session was only 30 mins and the therapist who was giving me one had an hour session, so i had time to get cleaned up a bit before receiving a massage.

yes, we do notice BO in a massage. especially if you're coming to get one right after working out, and you didn't bother to take a shower. will we comment on it? no, because we're professional like that. will we talk about it in the break room after you leave? probably.

other points of hygiene we MTs notice:

dead skin build up - yes, it is noticable if you haven't exfoliated since you can't remember when. it beads up under the pressure of our hands and moisture of the cream. ever get a massage and it felt gritty? it wasn't your massage therapist. you needed to exfoliate. will we mention it during the massage? probably not, unless it's so bad that there are beads of dead skin everywhere. then we do. cause we don't want you to think your massage therapist was crusty. tip - use those scrunchy shower thingies on a daily basis because it exfoliates gently every day. problem solved.

tan dried skin - if you're gonna be a tanning bed diva, by all means, moisturize! it will save your skin on a daily basis and save our massage cream when we work on you. it really sucks when you apply massage cream one second and the next second its not there because the person's skin i soooo dry from tanning that it soaked it right up. massage cream aint cheap, people. and neither is your skin, for that matter. its a living, breathing organ. take care of it, or pay someone else to, is all i'm saying. tip your therapist extra if you're gonna use up all our cream =)

stanky feet - oh yeah. we notice. will we work on them anyway? probably. though i will tend to skip over feet that have been in shoes without socks. people, wear socks with shoes (unless they are sandals of course). you are not Don Johnson in an episode of miami vice and this is bacteria and odor waiting to happen.

sneeze/cough covers - if you have to sneeze or cough during a massage, please don't cover your mouth/nose when you do. just turn your head to the side away from the therapist. we usually haven't worked on your hands yet. think about it. germ transfer bigtime. people love to have their hands worked on, including massage therapists. don't sneeze into your hands, people. come on. we have to work there.

no, we don't mind greasy hair. it happens. we really don't mind unshaven leg, ladies (seriously, we work on men, too. they have WAY more leg hair than you! just shave the pits, that's a must.). no, we don't mind the occassional coming straight from the gym. (at least put on some fresh deodorant. come on, if you can smell you, you gotta know we can.) and as long as we're talking about massage faux paus, people, we do not need to know certain details of your personal life. no, we don't mind talking to you during the massage. however, we don't necessarily need to know the more intimate reason that bruise is on your shoulder. i understand you are mutually consenting adults, but we don't need to know details of your sex life. if we ask where a bruise came from and that is the reason, lie to us. we won't know the difference and i promise you we will appreciate it.

don't get me wrong people, i love my job. i love my gifting. i love giving massages. real life is funny. especially the stuff you wouldn't think about unless you were in the other person's shoes. with socks on, i hope.

peace out,

your friendly neighborhood massage therapist